Today we bring you a newbie writer and yoga enthusiast, Ammie Kinsman. We’re thrilled to introduce her to our readers as her story touched me as it was very similar to the way I have brought yoga into my life. Help me in welcoming Ammie!
My venture into yoga began when I made a list of my life goals and the hindrances preventing me from attaining them. It turned out that each of these goals was blocked by the same two obstacles: I couldn’t afford it, and I was afraid I would fail at it. My husband, forever cheering me on, pointed out some truths about these obstacles: there will never be enough money, and the only way to ensure failure is never to try. So, I selected an item from my list, and took a shot at it. I signed up for a trial membership at a yoga studio.
My only set of workout clothes included a pair of black capris and a Colorado Rockies baseball jersey. That is what I wore as I stepped into the hot room of my new studio and compared myself to the other, more “seasoned,” yoga practitioners, who sported perfectly tailored yoga attire, complemented by freshly pedicured feet. Even my mat didn’t fit in. Procured from a sale bin, it looked like a sponge next to these remarkably beautiful strips of natural rubber with color-coordinated micro-fiber towel overlays. In the first vital minutes, watching several people in headstand, I had an important epiphany—I do not have to look and perform like these people to deserve to practice among them.
That decision was pivotal because it pushed me toward summoning strength from the inside. I was the focus of my practice, and when I found myself exhausted yet still standing at the end of that class, I wanted to keep going. Success! I joined the yoga studio! I tackled the first item on my list, and I could cross it off…but actually, that’s not true.
As I continue to work toward my life ambitions, checking them off when they are complete, I come to see that yoga is never over. It is not meant to be conquered. It is a continuous point of access. That is what makes it a practice. If I am going to achieve other goals in my life, I need the inner strength that yoga releases. Yoga must always remain unchecked on my list because I will never be done with it. Each time I approach the mat, I know I am safe, and when I finish, I know that I have accomplished something. That feeling is what propels me right into my next challenges.
There will always be fears to face, and yoga will always show me that I am strong enough to face them. Furthermore, my husband was right, and because I tried, it turns out that there is just enough money, and I have not failed. I still wear my Colorado Rockies jersey to class. It’s part of who I am, and I deserve to be there. We all deserve that.